| It's been so long |
[Mar. 6th, 2006|01:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
I was mostly unemployed from January 14th ( i think ) to March 4th. With a little help from my mom i managed to pay my rent. I just got a job at the Duke of York running food. I worked one day so far. You'd think i'd be happy now that i'm making some money but i'm not. I am equally as miserable.
Other things going on:
Accidental Company is putting on a new show this monday and we've been gigging a fair bit.
I'm becomming involved in CIUT radio; radio is something i've wanted to do for a long time.
I'm got a part as a demon in a biblical apocolypse movie.
I'd think that should be happy. Isn't this what we artsies want? You work a lamo job to be able to do the things you like? It doesn't work for me. I've only worked it once and i hate the lamo job. I don't want to go back. I hate that i hate it! Can't i just do it! Without complaint!? I feel like life is too hard. I feel like i'm missing something important: some small piece of information that everyone else knows. Even if it's just a context. A reassurance that this is just a moment in time - a moment in my long life - which will change and get better. I don't feel like that. I feel like this is the best that i can do and i might as well give up now because trying gives me headaches. Like the headaches i've been having since January 14th. Like the one that throbs against my forehead right now.
I feel like i'm not doing anything worthwhile. |
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| I feel better about talent |
[Dec. 9th, 2005|12:52 am] |
I was feeling not so positive about my screenwriting class. I was having the same trouble i had when i took a similar course at York. The structure stunted my thinking and creativity. I felt that the formula was all you needed, and it didn't matter what I wanted to put into it.
Similarly, i was having trouble making a beatsheet for my first act. A beat sheet is a chronological list of your plot points. I remember doing similar things for my York class and poorly. The other day i got frustrated and threw it away. I stopped working on my beat sheet, stopped following it, and started writing. I found that as i was writing, i was better able to map out the beats rather than doing it beforehand and then writing. I went back to the beat sheet and inserted them in after the fact.
Although more confident in the product, i was worried. I had to leave early, so we kinda rushed mine along.The class read my first stage of act 1 and critiqued it. they were nice enough but their opinions don't matter anyway. Only my hard nosed teacher, Nika's opinion matters. After they had finished, she paused for a moment and said:
"It's working. It works. I love it. It's great. Now get out"
No one's got a response like that from her. She also seemed a little surprised to give it to me; i haven't been a star pupil.
I felt wonderful. I felt like i proved, finally, that i wasn't an idiot after having so much trouble differentiating between the beams (major plot points). Vunderbar.
I'm thinking about going back to school next year for film. |
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| The Ballet Riot |
[Nov. 22nd, 2005|10:59 am] |
Had a really great jam last night with Phil and JW. The jam we had before was awful; people were not playing well, Arsalan had to be taught things. Slow and boring. Depressing. But last night was really great; not electrics to bog down the details. We busted out the accoustics and made sure all the notes we were playing were accurate. We pretty much nailed down three songs: Andreyeva, St. John's Anglican Church, and November.
We officially decided The Ballet Riot is our name. Happened in 1913 it did! Stravinsky's The Rite Of Spring was so unothodox that the audience broke into two sides, arguing about whether it was genius or bullshit. Punches were thrown. Rioting occured. I like the implications.
OTHER NEWS
Count Chocula's Breakfast Club is over. It was wonderful fun. I met lots of great people and made great new contacts like the understudies, jamie lamb, mike mcphadden, and all my cast and crew. It's too bad it's over. Hopefully there will be another one soon.
NEW COMPUTER
I love it more than anything else in the whole world. HUGE SCREEN. SO BRIGHT. SO QUIET! |
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| I Am Finally A Rockstar |
[Nov. 12th, 2005|12:12 pm] |
This show is amazing. I bum around for a few hours during the daylight hours. Then i go do this show. There's always a icefilled beer trough in the dressing room. Ladies are taking their clothes off. The band is milling about talking about pink flloyd or woody allen, or some culture reference i'm just slightly too young to really understand. The doors open an hour before curtain to give the audience time to get drunk. The cast is not confined to the dressing room, and so i go out to see if anyone i know has come, they haven't. That's ok. No one notices i'm in the cast b/c my costume is made of clothes i own. I hug Eleri the choreographer, i hug Kate the chorerographer. I get a half hour call from Ashlin the Stagemanager: "Thirty minutes, thank you, ashlin." The band takes the stage to entertain and warmup. They jam without stopping: riff rock = beer rock. I begged them to play a weezer tune while they jammed but no go even with 75% of the band's approval. The music director overrides all. I have a beer or two before the show and last night, within the first five minutes i was handed one from the crowd. It tasted like beer mixed with coke. The audience laughs and boos because of my grimance; they dont know what it tastes like. The audience is really rowdy and unrelentless. They don't let any mistake go unpunished and they've got dialogue of their own to add.
By the end of hte night, i've had a lot of beer. I'm drunk and find it difficult to sing the final number. It's 12:30 but people aren't going home, half the audience sticsk around to chat with the cast and drink. Then we all go out drinking somewhere else. Last night it was Paupers and when people get hungry we go to Mel's for poutine. Oh sorry, moutine. Poutine with meat.
I woke up this morning still drunk and watched the two part Star Trek TNG episode when Picard gets Borged. Wicked. I've never seen it back to back.
I need to shower and remove a lot of marker from my body. I'll do it all again tonite.
I am finally a rock star. |
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| NOD over; onward |
[Nov. 2nd, 2005|09:04 am] |
Night of dread is disorganized chaos. From the spectator's point of view, I know it looks less so, but that's part of the magic. It was a success, lots of people had fun, and I learned a great deal about bosses and production. I would only do it again to do it right, not b/c I had an amazing time. At the hight of it all, the police estimated we had drawn a crowd of 4000 people and had completely engulfed bloor for three blocks. Considering that the staff consists of four people, and the the parade originally consisted of maybe 2 dozen puppeteers, I consider that number to be huge.
Now that it's over i can focus more on what's next and more importantly the show i'm doing now. Count Chocula's Breakfast Club goes up in a week. If people want tickets but don't have a credit card, let me know b/c you can buy a physical ticket from me. Opening night (thursday) is the night i can get to tickets for.
Accidental Company is working on a new show and i think it's going to be good. We have a number of gigs and appearances this month; check the website for more info: www.accidentalcompany.com. |
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| I've been cubed! |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|05:14 pm] |
SHOWS
I'm performing in a Queen's Players show. It's a very popular group which has been doing comedies at Queen's U for years (decades?) and founded a branch in toronto last year. The show is called Count Chocula's Breakfast Club. It features the characters from that 80s teen angst hit who have to spend detention in a haunted mansion instead of the library. I'm playing Brian the nerd, also i get to sing a backstreet boys song which also features a Brian.
Nigh of Dread is coming along great. At least it's finally coming together. Barring rain, the event will be great, no matter what. I'm still courting Now Magazine to sponsor the event but it took some time to get through to the correct person. David Anderson got a new board member who is the founder of the succesful feminist Nightwood Theatre. Hopefully she'll kick him into shape.
Accidenal Company is in the writing phase of their fourth sketch revue. Of course, you can get all the info you need about this rabble from their fancy new Website.
www.accidentalcompany.com
www.clayandpapertheatre.org
www.queensplayerstoronto.com
THE GIRL
Vanessa and i celebrated our 6 monthaversary on Saturday. We went to high park for walking and lunch. Never found that damned zoo. Then we had a thanksgiving dinner with Leah Cohen and Catherine Ross. We were supposed to do swing dancing but the dinner put a stop to it. I was hoping to take her to the dance cave later but we fell asleep. opps!
THE JOB
I technically work as an usher for the St Lawrence Centre for the Arts. The problem is that their main client, Canstage, has only JUST begun their season so i've had to wait. Furthermore, b/c i'm new i need training which can only be done at certain times, so therefore, i'm still not working. MY first shift in two weeks happens this wednesday. That being said, what work i have done there, i did enjoy greatly.
THE FUTURE
I'm taking a screenwriting class at Geroge Brown College. There's only been one class so far but i really enjoyed it and gave me lots to think about already. I'm going to work on the play i've been writing for about a year. I felt very accepted from the beginning: when asked why i was taking the class, i told the teacher i could never get passed 25 pages. She noded sympathetically and said most people had the same problem. I told i felt i need to know more about the structure, that i wanted more practical teachings. She told me this was the course for me, i'd learn just that.
I'm going to seriously look into getting an agent. Seriously. I'm doing quite a bit of theatre related things, and i really enjoy it, but i'd like it more if i was being paid for all of them. Granted, there's always pro bono work and self sacrifice that needs to be done to get ahead, but there are whole days which could be filled with a commercial filming! It would pay something! I'm going to try for that, call up come learned actors friends and get their opinions on it all.
THE FUTURE AND MONEY
I'm taking a hit with these shows, a calculated hit. I'm not making much money right now. C&P pays 1000 for my work over sept and oct. STLC is paying nothing at the moment. I CAN get 5 shifts a week at STLC which isn't full time but would pay for a great deal. I can't do that until these shows are over.
The "hit" is this: i'm eating into what i've saved and using the little i'm getting to live. I'm alive and well, no problems, so don't worry about now. Continuing that way, without any income, i'll survive until the new year. When i get to the end of november, all these shows will be over, at which point i'll hopefully work nonstop at STLC and be on the lookout for a more regular dayjob.
SO, in case you were wondering, i'm fine and i'll be fine barring injuries or deaths. |
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| I'm going to get an agent |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|01:47 pm] |
I've decided! Too much waiting. Not enough action.
Well, i should say, i'm going to TRY and get an agent. But i really am going to try. I'm going to talk to some people i know who are more involved in the real biz and see what they say and who i should contact. Similarly, there's a girl in the Queen's Players with me who does LOTS of extra work for LOTS of dollars. I'm going to ask her about that b/c extra work doesn't usually pay lots of dollars.
I was worried Night of Dread wasn't going to get of its feet but i see now that was unfounded worries. It's a standard format and all you have to do is fill in the blanks. There are room for more blanks and how i fill the blanks is up to me, but i see that there are blanks. I didn't see them before. I felt a little directionless. Slowly a structure of the event, and of how i work, is coming together. If anyone is interested, please, let me know. Or check out the website www.clayandpapertheatre.org.
For my dad's birthday i sent him The Bunny Suicides. The funniest book on the planet. He hasn't called to thank me; maybe he doesn't think dead bunnies are funny. Maybe i'm just an awful son! |
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| Well, i'm sick now. |
[Oct. 2nd, 2005|11:31 am] |
Some cold. Some stupid cold. Yea, i've heard of it before, but i never thought i've ever experience it. Don't poor people and cold biologists get colds? Don't the inuit and baloonists get colds? Not me, some grounded - SUB grounded - well to do, god loving, battery recycling saint such as myself. I guess it had to happen sometime. Everything happens sometime. So i've heard from my Shaman Warrior Guide. He comes down from the mountains and places warm lime leaves on my chest as I lay on a bed of fresh picked heather and imagine a wolrd filled with marshmellow cotten balls. It's supposed to clease my system and it just helps that i don't buy deorderant b/c i always smell like lime. Of course, people pass by me and yell, "Show me my motto." As if i watch television, as if i knew it was a sprite commercial.
In conclusion, I'm on my last Chronicles of Narnia book, The Last Battle. If it's taught me one thing about disease, it's that it normally comes in the form of brown people who wear turbans. I assume my illness originated in whatever godless land they come from, which according to C.S. Lewis is stupid and can be defeated by just about any other animal on the planet, even a mouse. |
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| Please exit through the window! |
[Sep. 28th, 2005|09:59 am] |
I checked out Harrison's music page, the guy who i'm going to drum with, only to find out he's quite amazing. At least his production quality is. I can't get this song out of my head!
Accidental Company is online! Check us out at www.accidentalcompany.com. We're exicted. It's our shiny new baby girl. We're also planning a new show and working on getting smaller gigs around town. Surly more information will pour into the website soon.
I have a sore throat and i think it's b/c i ate so many cookies. |
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| Getting closer to Life |
[Sep. 19th, 2005|10:07 am] |
I got a job at the St Lawrence For the Arts. Unfortunately, Canstage doesn't begin their season until October 9th, so i have only two shifts until then. Also, i'm unsure how often i will get work once that date arrives and so i'm worried I might need another job. I'm not sure if i should get out there now and try to find one of wait until I find out how frequently SLC gives me work. The 8th is a long time to wait. 2.5 weeks. OF WHAT!?
I guess I'll commit to finishing the play and songs i was working on. I GUESS! I'm 100% committed to rocking out now, which everyone should know. I bought a new electric guitar. It's silver and sparkly. I think i might call it Greybeard: the sagely old axe who's cut a rug in his day and then burned that swatch with the friction from his his rock and roll licks.
I think i need some guitar lessons to teach me not to hurt myself when i'm playing. Maybe i'll just get phill to teach me. He's good at stuff. |
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| Unemployment is quite employed |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|11:18 am] |
Only Monday has been not so busy. Tuesday was loaded with events and work. Today is as well. I have much organizing to do for NOD, and I'm fairly certain i'll get the STLC usher job.
I'm going to Sydney from Monday the 5th to the 13th. Usher job starts on the 14th.
I'm taking a George Brown class in screen writing, beginning September 22nd.
Things are positive. |
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| The begin |
[Aug. 28th, 2005|12:15 am] |
Tomorrow is my last day at Clay and Paper as a performer. It has been a difficult summer job, mentally. It could have been a factory, and wasn't, so i appreaciate that it wasn't. However, Boss David Anderson has been trying, and I have found getting to know my coworkers difficult. Our attempts to fix the show we were handed did find some success but everyone felt that process was far more arduous than necessary; we believe the frustration has driven Alisha to illness. Truthfully.
I have been rehired by Clay and Paper to produce Night of Dread, their signature event, which is happening October 29th. It's stellar. You should come.
I'm hoping to get an usher job from the St. Lawrence Centre for the Arts. Interview Tuesday. She already likes me. Just gotta not fuck it up. Definately a get-able job. These two jobs would likely be enough.
Other notables.
Although there is nothing specifiv to mention, Accidental Company is expecting to return sometime soon with a cavalcade of sketch-rock. Look to October for more of that.
JW wants to fullfill his dream to be in a rock band or in a rock star. I'm seriously considering that as a possibility. He's so cute. And his fawn like eyes are undeniable.
Sometimes i'm lonely downtown. I don't know many people in the area. I'm going to try to make some local friends.
I'm taking a screenwriting class at George Brown beginning at the end of September. Maybe i'll make some friends there. |
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| It was Stolen |
[Aug. 21st, 2005|11:50 am] |
I have never wrenched on my brakes so hard before
or if i had, never had i done so in fear of my life.
As my skidding bicycle tires approached the car door
I was quite calm.
I knew that I wouldn't be too damaged.
When i stopped, just past the door, just missing it,
I almost fell off my bike.
I looked back at the man still in his car.
He said nothing and did not appear to at fault.
His passenger didn't seem to notice any lives were at risk.
" . . . Watch it." No exclamation mark.
I didn't know what to say.
On his behalf, it was dark, and my front light was stolen about a week ago.
I'm on my way to get a knew one immediately. |
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| Going to Snl . . . |
[Aug. 16th, 2005|10:51 am] |
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. . . writers Q & A. Then tonite they're performing sketches from the show which never made it to air. It should be cool. Catherine Ross is joing Jordo and i at the event. A review will follow. |
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| Work Apathy |
[Aug. 14th, 2005|09:55 am] |
...has reached an alltime low. Yesterday, we decided we just weren't going to do a 7:30 show. Of course, we couldn't just not do it. We waited until 7:30 and no one showed up so we didn't do it. However, usually we make lots of noise and coerce an audience into watching us but we didn't. We just sat and waited for the inevitable. We also dipped into our funds. Shhh.
Two days ago the shit hit the fan. We were sculpting a new mask for Night of Dread (october) and David stood by and directed its creation. Alisha eventually said 'David, why don't you just do the whole thing!"
He got offended. We got offended. We all sat down and said things we should have said sometime ago. We find him stiffling and directionless. Overbearing. Difficult. Negative. He admitted to most things, shifted some of the blame to his admin staff, and didn't really apologize although he came close. The event ended when we ran out of things to say.
At lunch, without David, we all admitted to feeling little optimism.
Only two weeks left, however. But then I'm unemployed! |
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| Moved'ed |
[Aug. 6th, 2005|10:41 am] |
New Address:
74 Walmer Rd
(Bloor and Spadina)
M5R 2X7
Phone Number:
(c) 416-414-4931
(h)416-934-0163
I'm very worried about the end of the month now. No job. And i haven't been looking for a new one. That will begin within the next few days. I've decided Brian is not definitively about anything. Perhaps it's not true, but that's how i feel most of the time. Others are quite simply definable. It's a good thing. It provides context and creates families. I'm going to try to work be be about something specific other than 'weird guy.'
If you live in the area, please come to visit. I work wednesday 9a-5p, thursday - sunday 1p - 9p. I'm a five minute walk from from Bloor and Spadina. A block north to Kendell. Then 30 seconds West (left). |
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| Anger |
[Jul. 15th, 2005|12:25 am] |
Matt and Alisha are in the process of be rehired for the upcoming year. I didn't even know clay and paper functioned in the winter. Matt is getting a real job there. Alisha was ASKED by David. Matt getting hired bothers me slightly, only because if there were opportunities available I imagined someone would have SAID something. Alisha, however, makes me very angry. She is still in school! They asked the girl with a full course load to come back but not hte unemployed guy. Anything she can do, i can do.
I feel so rejected. Even more rejected than i normally do at C&P. Daily. I don't know if I continue working there feeling this terrible about myself and thinking the low opinion David Anderson must have of me. |
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| Drunk Last Night |
[Jul. 9th, 2005|10:38 am] |
I feel awful. Emotionally. I'm not hung over, but i feel terrible about myself and terrible about life. Does alcohol do that?
There is a baby SCREAMING outside my window. I want it throttled.
So irritable. |
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| Belleville |
[Jul. 7th, 2005|10:16 am] |
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Spent the night with Clay and Paper in Belleville in order to perform Wednesday afternoon. Not much actual Work was done. We perform two shows at 1 and 3 pm wednesday afternoon, so the day before was all fun bonding experience. It reminded me alot of Sydney but much prettier. Small, two street town with absolutely nothing to do. It was comforting. We were supposed to do The Space Between, the new show, but decided last minute to bring The Green Man because its less stuff. We arrived to find posters over Belleville announcing our great puppet show called The Space Between. No one knew who we were anyway so no problems. On the way back i decided to do the drive with Mark who was driving the rented van for our stuff rather than the 8 passenger Duango. I haven't been able to get to know him that well so it was a good opportunity. He didn't know some important things about me, like my finishing of school. Odd that. He's a nice guy with a sugar imbalance who convinced me i might have a sugar imbalance. Now we're back and will perform The Space Between for the rest of our lives. So Terrible. |
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